Watching my children change is nothing short of breathtaking. We all spend our entire lives inside our own heads, see our milestones and growth through our personal lenses and filters. We interpret and justify our actions and are not aware enough to see how we change moment to moment, year to year in the way an observer might.
But we can and do see our children change. Josephine has just exploded with words and motions. She waves to anyone willing to wave at her, she is trying out so many sounds and mama and dada are uttered hundreds of times a day. Charlotte is maturing, becoming both more soulful and more sullen. She is leaving her 2-year old self behind, learning to engage imaginatively, and she sits with a concentration I never saw in the past. They change, constantly- moment to moment, day to day, month to month. My baby is just over three months away from being A YEAR OLD. All the late nights and all the needs of a tiny baby are shifting. She’s changing. And I get to watch it. I am the loving observer who gets to see what its like to learn how to speak, walk, play, laugh. I get to watch when her sister makes her laugh. I get to watch Charlotte conquer fears and climb mountains, even when the mountain is just a really high playscape. I get to see them become more and more themselves every day. Their personalities emerge in the smallest increments, and it can be easy to miss it, until one day it catches up to us and we see a new person standing, sitting, or crawling right there in front of us.
What’s amazing to realize, is that it’s not just my children changing. We’re changing together. Our family shifts in indiscriminate pieces to adapt to our ever-shifting needs. We eat differently one week to the next, we definitely sleep differently one night to the next. My single adult self once adjusted to my partner, then my working self adjusted to my non-working self. My married self shifted to my single daughter and finally, we have our newest shift to two beautiful people in our lives.
They make me feel alive, watching them change. They bring out the miracle that life is. They haven’t just changed my life, they have changed my entire being, one small moment at a time.