Babies and Bugs

C and I used to have brains, but in the last two weeks that reality has completely been reset and we can confidently say we don’t know where they went. I’m finding the cereal box in the fridge and we’re both up at night too excited frantic to sleep. The other night I heard a weird thump after the millionth time of getting up to go to the bathroom and looked up to see a giant scary bug had just fallen from my bedroom ceiling and was making its way across my bedroom floor. It was so big that I HEARD it. When was the last time you heard a bug… on carpet? 

I quickly and somewhat efficiently woke C up with a “blah arg eww gross!!! Get it, get it, there’s a bug, and it’s a big one!!” He jumped to the occasion like the awesome man he is and tracked down the intruder. It had veered into the hallway and into the bathroom. Our “natural” bug spray is not known for its quick acting power and the thing was making its way back into the bedroom where C proceeded to yell at it, saying, “No, no, no, no!” Commanding it to stay put and die, which it did. Thank god. A little crazy sauce? Yea, that’s us. 

Soooo since then we’ve both been on our toes when heading to bed. We look around and check behind things and stare at the ceiling, making sure everything is “safe” before we close our eyes. But it doesn’t entirely work and we both sit up when the slightest creek/thump from our upstairs neighbor makes us jump. 

And the baby isn’t here. So we’ve pretty much lost our minds about that too. We spend time watching movies and having long intellectual conversations about anything and everything we can think of: the economy, parenting, crime stats in Austin… and then we look at the clock and whimper. It’s only seven. We still have four hours left of the day before we can go to sleep and the magic baby fairy might come and let my body know that “it’s time.”

Then bed time finally comes and we try to go to sleep but we’re all hyped up about possible bug intruders. And of course I’m up every hour to relieve my bladder.

Can you see why we’re very quickly falling down a deep, dark, black vortex? We’re tired and wired at the same time, both anxious and amazingly excited cause babies are really cute and cool and this one will be ours! Endless cycle. Sometimes you ask yourself how anyone ever has gone through this before and come out sane. But then you realize sanity is something you leave behind when you have kids anyway. 

Any sane advice, free real estate or pest control, black market pitocin or magic “baby come out” rituals much appreciated. 

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